TalkTopics.com - Talk about everything on earth!

Go Back   TalkTopics.com > TalkTopics Community > Entertainment > Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes The place for all kinds of jokes, be funny, be witty, be naughty, and laugh yourselves silly here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 12-27-2006, 02:36 AM
peachey peachey is offline
Senior Member
Professor
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,841
peachey is on a distinguished road
Ever think about it?

Ever think about it?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a urinating section in a swimming pool?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There are three religious truths:
A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
C. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
"THEIRS"?
Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:14 AM.





Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6