If he loves me why would i have to change...

peachey · #1 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 02:03 PM

In a realtionship isn't a equal thing and why would I have to change for him if he loves me??? Isn't LOVE SUPPOSE TO BE UNCONDITIONAL...

Meaning I take you as you are???

sanuanu · #2 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 11:00 AM

Only because I love you and I want to see my love in happyness. I don't want to give you any pain. Don't want to give any stress. I want to be in world's smoothest place. Because I can't see u in tears, I can't see u bending down to ur knees only because I want see u winning all the time.

Now my friend, if these kind fo things I want to present to my love, then I need to change my self. I need to change.....

peachey · #3 (**permalink**) 08-18-2006, 12:59 PM

Very excellent...

But why would anyone have to change if you are in love with a person?

Do we not except someone as they are if we are in love with them?

Maybe the love one would not want you to change...if you did and they did not like it then what?????????????

sanuanu · #4 (**permalink**) 08-19-2006, 09:17 AM

It depends on you! If you love a person and he/she wants you to be in a little different shape that they can love you more then what is the problem in that.
I think there is nothing wrong in just saying to your lovely friends that I would like you to see in this type of shirt or I would like to see you without smoke for just a one day?

When we would change and they won't like it that means they do not love us and we should not continue with them. It would hurt us but this would be the best option stop all type of relation ship with that person,

peachey · #5 (**permalink**) 08-21-2006, 02:46 PM

I can see the point in the examples you have given. I guess I was thinking deeper in the changeing. Like you are a person that do not express your feelings enough so that I would know how to help you. Something like this deeper...

To me the ones that you gave as examples are just things that we are concern for health reasons or maybe to see you dress better.

cool · #6 (**permalink**) 08-21-2006, 03:36 PM

Well, here's my 2 cents' worth. Not that I am much of an expert in love matters.

1. About Love

I think a lot of people fall in love with a passion, ie, when they are young, and physical sex or passions is utmost in their minds. So, when they end up getting married, and then have to live with each other everyday, little things can irritate one or the other. Perhaps, then they found out that they are not 'compatible' in everything. But may still love each other or have feelings. So, instead of just breaking up, perhaps each party need to change their ways a little. For example, if a guy likes to drive his car at super speed and that frightens the beejesus out of his wife, then instead of having her grumble or nag behind the wheels, perhaps he should drive a bit more carefully, at least when she's around!!

2. About change

I don't think anyone can really change who they are after the age of 8. Their values are pretty much concrete. Just ask yourself this question, 'have you changed over the last 10 years?' If you're honest with yourself, the answer is probably no. So, trying to get your partner to change in 'big' ways would be meaningless. Maybe we should just learn to 'live' with each other's idiosyncracies. Afterall, you're stuck!!

3. About women

Women are constantly trying to change 'their man'. In fact, I am sure they already planned what they want changed on the first date and wait until she's married and then turn into a 'change monster' who 'nags nags, and nags until the guy turn blue'. Ha Ha Ha! I crack myself up.

4. About Men

Men hate to be told to change. In fact, they'll just listen to the woman on one ear, and it goes out the other and don't ever change. So, don't try to change men!! But men also want their wifes to change, ie, stop nagging!! and perhaps look after their bodies so sex could be so much sweeter!! (sorry if i offended the 'biig' ppl out there. It's not healthy afterall to be fat).

humpty · #7 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 09:59 AM

Quote:

4. About Men

Men hate to be told to change. In fact, they'll just listen to the woman on one ear, and it goes out the other and don't ever change. So, don't try to change men!! But men also want their wifes to change, ie, stop nagging!!

I agree to this when it says don't try to change men!!
And kudos to the "stop nagging" part lol

That would be ideal, but in reality, these things just keep coming back again and again, and for many more decades to come, women would want their men to change, and women will continue their naggings about this about that and so on and so forth.

Problem is, men just don't think like women do, and women often want us men to think like them! Men would rather say... "Ok dear, what's wrong, just spit it out, what's wrong" and yet, women usually answers, nothing!

So, the cycle will continue.......women will want men to change, and the more they bitch about it, the lesser the man will change, coz men are egoistic and proud creatures too most of the time, they'll change, when they want to change, not when they were told to change!

cool · #8 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by humpty

men are egoistic and proud creatures too most of the time, they'll change, when they want to change, not when they were told to change!

Dats Rite!!

pussykitty · #9 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 11:58 AM

You men,

Quote:

egoistic and proud creatures

sigh,

Why can't you be more suave and smooth and be a lady's man huh?
But on a second thought, hmmmm, it seems most of the lady's man in Hollywood films are just the same, egoistic and proud, sigh, why are girls so silly to fall for these kinda man, although they always think they wouldn't fall for them, eventually, most of us would, lol,

what an irony

peachey · #10 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 12:52 PM

Hmm pussy cat hope you have not been watching to much romatic tv or the soap on tv.....

Real life men are like what cool and humpy explained

that they dont want a nagging women around...

just like I dont want some
irresposible, complaining, lazy, loud mouth, needs and wants every thing, come to my becon call, cant do nothing, wont ask for directions, get me a beer, man around ......

sanuanu · #11 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 09:18 AM

Now i m counting how many flaws i have from the list you provided.

supressedinsanity · #12 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 09:31 AM

Hmm so is this concept of women needing to change their men explain why women always seem to fall for the wrong kinda guys and then later whine about it.

Coz this is one thing that really makes guys point fingers at women and call them dumb.They fall for all the guys that even guys think are jerks.
Its like theve got these blinders on where they cant see all the signs and people saying....no no no not him...hes a dickhead...run away....but they go charging forward anyway.

And all the while the nice guy, the supposed Ladys man is completely ignored and sidelined.Nice guys are good for being a girls girlfriend , nothing else.
The Jerks almost always win.

Women.....where art thy minds :shock:

peachey · #13 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 12:18 PM

Dont know if I would go as far as saying they want a jerk and to change all that....

But sometime you find that they do fall in love with what they belive a life long partner to only find some things that bother them and cant live with or they think they can not live with...

Is it whinny some time or is it just helping you to be come a better person or a healthy one...there is a diffrence...

I guess you have to say I was some time a nagger to my husband...but do not think so ...for health reasons I had to remind him that he was to take a med or see the doctor....or when he really did not feel well to go to a doctor if he needed too...

Some times he would not dress for the occasion we had to go to...and have to remind him that this was a little more than clean jeans and t shirt...

or he lived also in this home and could help with simple things like putting papers or what ever in the trash next to him..pick up a cup or glass when done in living room ...

put the things that he used in the dishwasher...

to me this is maybe nagging but hey ....maybe his mom did it all for him and so he thinks I will or would tooo

Sorry not his mom and will not be to any man....
I have taught my sons everything they need to do in a home...wash dishes cook, clean, wash clothes all of it..even how to sew or mend simple tears in clothing or a button....

So before we say women are naggers...look at what they are nagging about first and see what you can really do about it...

yes there are some that do that just because ...

But then men can become nagging also...
to much wt for women they put on or dont dress nice for me or supper or dinner not ready in time...or many of the things...