Friends parents

[shadwell06]

hi guys, and girls, I got a stinker of a problem! and was hoping you lot can help.

lets start from the begining, I have known my best friend since the age of 5, well we have always got along well.

then I met her sister when we were 19, and basically wanted to punch her lights out, with the stuff that came out of her mouth!

then I met her mother, and ok, so she doesn't say much to me, but fair enough.

the problem is, I was out on Saturday seeing my adopted cousin, and everything had been going great, then my best friends mother, and sister came into the pub my cousin works at,

and I don't know what exactly was said, and to whom, but the jist of it is that about 30 minutes later I called my cousin over, as I had a couple of people standing by the bar, and my cousin bitten my head off.

the only explination is that my best friends mother, or her sister said something to my cousin, or her boss.

the only thing that makes me think that, is everything was fine up until that point, as well as her mother, and sister already messed up her life, and a friends life by spreading lies, and roomers.

as well as turning my best friend into tears, by having her twins fostered by her mother.

basically I am at the point where I just want to say goodbye to our friendship, but it wouldn't be fair on her as it isn't her fault, but at the same time she feels like she got to stay with her mother, because of the twins, but while that is happening, her mother has got a hold on her, and a free babysitter so to say.

and on my side, then I will probably never be 100% happy while I am her friend, as I see her every week, and I am having to go through the same thing every week. which is listen to what is happening, and also having to get her back into a good mood, which usually only lasts an hour, and then she is back to another grilling.

and I know they make her life hell, as I was sat in the car the one day while she popped into her house, and could hear it all.

hopefully given you enough to ponder on so I will leave it there for now! look out for more postings as things go on, and in response.

[panggz]

i think you should stay friends with her, she needs you..
if you say her life's a living hell bcoz of her family, don't you think being her friend is the least you can do to help ease what she goes through every single day..? :?

[shadwell06]

thank-you panggz, for your advice.

so what do you suggest I should do about my cousin, as at the end of the day, if she has recieved a warning off her boss, which I know my friends family would stoop that low.

then it isn't just a case of my life they are screwing with, as warnings end up with no job for my cousin, which I definately don't want my cousin to loose her job any-way.

I know me, and my cousin haven't been close for about 12 years, due to other commitments, but I do still like her, and want her to be there, when ever we need eachother.

do I warn my cousin if I find out her family have been stiring? or causing problems? as I won't see her for another couple of days.

like I said I don't care when it is just me, and my friend, but when it envolves my family, and their job, then it is totally different.

[sanuanu]

That's a very difficult situation, at first I thought you should leave your friend but not with some hard words. I know I can't understand your problems fully as I have never been in such situation but yeah, when family involve in such case you need to take a stance. Its your friend's family hurting your family and be sure that if you live with your friend you will loose ur cousin.
Then there is a big question have you talk to your friend after this incident? What does she told you?
Sure if your cousin bitten ur head she must be appologized by your friend if not her mother. So, if you want to save both friend and family be a bridge between them. Let's have a talk a good talk with your cousin and then with your friend try to figure out what exactly has happend.
After that, try to arrange a meeting between ur cousin and friend. Let them talk you just wait n watch what happens. I am sure by making such meeting you will find a solution.

But as a first step, in view of ur cousin, you must leave your friend...
That's all, as far as I can think. I am not sure if this says all you need. Any query please, kindly revert.........
Thanks :)

[panggz]

isn't there any other way to help avoid your friend's family from hurting yours, and at the same time, keep your friendship..?
this is tough, huh.. :(

[sanuanu]

If you are meant to be a good friend, then you will definately go to your friend's house. The minute you enter you will be the interest of his/her parents and they want to know more about you for their children's security.
You just can't hide from your friend's family but you can make adjustment so that your family will be in a distance with your family. That can be done and you will become the bridge between their and your family. I think that would be better.

[jestuarn]

Or, if you felt like you can't help her, cool down your relationship for a while. Change your friendship to acquaintances until you both can get a hold of each other's lives. No use troubling other people if you yourself would let it happen to you.

[panggz]

shadwell06, both of them do have good points, y'know..
but, it's all up to you ta decide what to do bout this..
we're just here to help you get more choices, know what m sayin'..?

[jestuarn]

Originally Posted by panggz

shadwell06, both of them do have good points, y'know..
but, it's all up to you ta decide what to do bout this..
we're just here to help you get more choices, know what m sayin'..?

Yeah, since we aren't actually there, it is up to you to decide. So... good luck..

[panggz]

yea, and i hope you choose what'll be best for both of you..
good luck..

[shadwell06]

Ok, thank-you for your replies, it was just as to be expected, no-one really being in the same situation, but the jist of it being that there is no other real way around it.

I will read all messages after this, so please do keep them coming!!

but what I have decided to do for the time is stick with family! and see what happens next.

[panggz]

you're most welcome.. :D

and, uhh, good luck..

[sanuanu]

Originally Posted by shadwell06

but what I have decided to do for the time is stick with family! and see what happens next.

Very good.
but don't forget ur friend in between all this
coz
true friends are harder to come by dear.......

[panggz]

i totally agree..

[sanuanu]

These small posts gives me the chance to say more. You totaly agree that friends are harder to come by or u totaly agree what I say in that post???